These things have no place at a bachelor party. Ross and Ben know this. With over 20 years of marriage best-men planning experience, they are the only ones you can trust to take a marriage and turn it into a movement. Gone are the ways of shoddy bachelor parties, weak planning, and jerks who spend the whole time hitting on your cousin. Replaced with trust, justice, and duty.
Other candidates may have you believe that they can be trusted with all the trusting things that best men are entrusted. But they cannot in fact be trusted. They aren't American. They aren't looking out for your best interest. And most of all, they can't wrangle our stupid friends.
When it comes time to cast the ballot, cast yours for Ross and Ben: Co-Best Men.
Paid for by the committee to have Ross and Ben as co-best men.
Dave and Meredith,
Back to the actual topic at hand, on behalf of Ross, Ben, Heather, JJ, Evelyn, TC, Kim, Rachel, Yuri, Tim, Andrew, Vicky, Beth and theoretically Ken, congratulations. We can't wait to celebrate with you this wonderful time. (But you really should let Ross and Ben be co-best men.)
We asked all our friends to submit things to help us all celebrate. Some of them got off their stupid asses and actually listened.
JJ and Evelyn:
"one's not half two. It's two are halves of one:
which halves reintegrating,shall occur
no death and any quantity;but than
all numerable mosts the actual more"
the greatest thing in life is to find the person you want to share it with, for love is what makes pluto a planet.
congratulations and love to you both.
-jj & evelyn
ps: extra congratulations to dave, because as the poet said;
Dave, a bird shat on me while I was gingerly smoking my cigarette outside. This is supposed to be a sign of good luck and so that is what I extend to you. May many a-bird shit on you.(Dictated, not read)
